These stoner quotes will have you feeling those good vibes.
Whether you’re smoking a bowl after a long day, enjoying a sesh with some friends, or browsing the dispensary for a nug, these quotes will have you remembering that it’s always 4:20 somewhere.
From the perfect Instagram captions for when you need to show off your new pipe to celebrity and movie quotes about weed, we’ve got you covered with these sayings.
If you’re passionate about cannabis then sit back, relax, light up a blunt and enjoy our list of legendary stoner quotes.
Don’t forget to also check out these weed quotes to lift your stoner spirits.
The best weed and stoner quotes for your Instagram captions
1. “I never joined high school, I joined school high.” — Unknown
2. “A puff a day keeps the debauched attitude away.” — Unknown
3. “You either love weed, or you’re wrong.” — Unknown
4. “When in doubt, smoke it out.” — Unknown
5. “It’s CANnabis, not CAN’Tabis.” — Unknown
6. “I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints. And then I smoke two more.” – Sublime
7. “Don’t sweat it. Just keep blazing.” — Unknown
8. “My blood type is THC.” — Unknown
9. “I am always high because the universe is so low.” — Unknown
Stoner quotes from celebrities
10. “Of course I know how to roll a joint.” – Martha Stewart
11. “That is not a drug, it’s a leaf.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
12. “When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.” – Barack Obama
13. “People say you can abuse marijuana. Well shit, you can abuse cheeseburgers too, you know? You don‘t go around closing Burger King because you can abuse something.” – Joe Rogan
14. “Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses.” – Hugh Hefner
15. “I don’t consider weed to be any worse than having a beer.” – James Franco
16. “When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself.” – Bob Marley
17. “I wake up early in the morning and it feels so good. Smoking on some shit that you wish you could.” – Snoop Dogg
18. “I have used cannabis all over the world.” – Rick Steves
19. “If you grew up in the ’60s or ’70s, and didn’t do drugs I don’t trust you.” – Danny Danko
20. “If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don’t go after it.” — John Lennon
Stoner quotes from movies
21. “I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this, but I’m gonna get you high today, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got shit to do.” – Friday
22. “We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.” – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
23. “If I study high, take the test high, I’ll get HIGH scores!” — How High
24. “I’m trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I’m stoned or because I have no blood left in my body.” — Pineapple Express
25. “Smokin’ weed, smokin’ Wizz, / Doin’ coke, drinkin’ beers, / Drinkin’ beers, beers, beers, / Rollin’ fattys, smokin’ blunts, / Who smokes the blunts? / We smoke the blunts. / Rollin’ blunts and smokin’.” — Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back
26. “Dude, am I really high, or is this actually working?” – Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
27. “Is that a joint man? That there looks like a quarter-pounder.” — Cheech and Chong – Up in Smoke
28. “Littering and smoking the reefer. Now to teach you boys a lesson, me and officer Rabbit are going to stand here while you three smoke the whole bag” — Super Troopers
Stoner quotes about smoking weed
29. “I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?” – Willie Nelson
30. “A friend with weed is a friend indeed…”― Pops O’Donnell
31. “We talk to each other in code. We said that 420 was a special number. It was a time. It was a date. It was a symbol for what we did for passive resistance.” – Rick Cusick
32. “You know what I’m really tired of is people getting arrested for the possession of marijuana. It’s just a plant. It makes no sense.” – Madeline Martinez
33. “Struggle is the enemy, but weed is the remedy.” – Kid Cudi
34. “I got high, and forgot I wasn’t supposed to get high.” – Ricky Williams
35. “New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my email, and the next thing I know it’s three days later, I’m in the desert, I’m banging on a drum, I’m naked, and somebody’s pierced my dick.” — Bill Maher
36. “Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit unnatural?” — Bill Hicks
37. “It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics … dope and all that crap. It’s a thousand times better than whiskey – it’s an assistant – a friend.” – Louis Armstrong
Funny stoner quotes and captions that will make you happy
38. “It has always been said that wealth cannot buy you joy, but it can buy you marijuana and that is just enough.” — Unknown
39. “Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating.” ― Richard Neville
40. “Marijuana saved my life. I have no doubts about it and you don’t need to show me any data.” – Greg Scott
41. “Stop killing each other man. Let’s just smoke a blunt.” – Tupac
42. “Writing to me is like hitting the herb. No problems, Mon. No worries.”― A.K. Kuykendall
43. “Why do I do it? Because I enjoy its effects. You know, I — why does anybody use any mind-altering substance, you know, because they like the way it makes them feel.” – Mark Stepnoski
44. “It makes me feel the way I need to feel.” – Snoop Dogg
45. “It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned.” – Bill Lee
46. “I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits – and millions of Americans agree with me.” – Hunter S. Thompson
47. “Many artists and writers have used cannabis for creative stimulation – from the writers of the world’s religious masterpieces to our most irreverent satirists.” – Jack Herer
48. “Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see.” – Thomas Jefferson
49. “Alcohol and marijuana, if used in moderation, plus loud, usually low-class music, make stress and boredom infinitely more bearable.” – Kurt Vonnegut
50. “I’ve been smoking marijuana for 44 years now, and … I think it’s a tremendous blessing.” – Lester Grinspoon
What kind of stoner are you?
People have been smoking weed for centuries, but now that it’s legal, a lot more people are getting their hands on some grass. So, what kind of stoner does that make you?
Are you a noob? Someone who just started smoking and is new to learning the ins and outs of the pot world?
Or are you a Rastafarian? To you, weed is life. Life is weed.
The philosopher needs to know the deeper meaning of things and uses cannabis to discover that meaning. The McGuyver can turn anything into a pipe. And the marijuana connoisseur knows everything there is to know about pot.
No matter what kind of stoner you are, we hope you enjoyed these stoner quotes and sayings. Let us know your favorite quote in the comments below!